Breakups are already complicated. Throw in non-monogamy, multiple emotional bonds, evolving boundaries, and divergent expectations, and the question “Can I still be friends with my ex?” becomes even more nuanced. As an ENM therapist, I often see people wrestling not just with loss, but with how to redefine relational connections. Here’s how I approach that question, what I encourage clients to consider, and guidelines for doing it (or choosing not to).

Ethan and Olivia are struggling in their relationship and are at a point where they are not sure they want to continue being intimate partners and live together. Mono­ normativity would suggest ending the relationship and transition to separate lives. By removing this cultural paradigm, they however have another option, which is de­ escalation*