Let’s not fight anymore!

Conflict is an inevitable aspect of intimate relationships, yet it is how we navigate and resolve conflicts that ultimately shapes the strength and resilience of our partnerships. Let's have a look at a common conflict between partners.

Sarah and Alex have been together for several years and typically spend their weekends together. This weekend, Sarah has been looking forward to a relaxing day at home, while Alex has made plans to go hiking with friends. As the weekend approaches, they realise they have conflicting expectations for how to spend their time.

On Friday evening, Alex excitedly mentions his plans to go hiking with friends on Saturday morning. Sarah, who had been anticipating a quiet weekend together, feels disappointed and frustrated that Alex didn't discuss his plans with her earlier.

Common triggers

Miscommunication - Sarah assumed they would spend the weekend together without explicitly discussing their plans, while Alex made assumptions about Sarah's willingness to join him on the hike without confirming her preferences.

Unmet Expectations - Sarah expected to spend quality time with Alex, while Alex assumed Sarah would be okay with him making plans with friends without prior discussion.

Different Priorities - Sarah values spending quality time together as a couple, while Alex prioritises maintaining his social connections and pursuing his interests.

To resolve the conflict, Sarah and Alex need to communicate openly and empathetically, acknowledging each other's feelings and perspectives.

Resolution

Active Listening

Sarah expresses her feelings of disappointment and explains why spending time together is important to her. Alex listens attentively without interrupting or becoming defensive, validating Sarah's emotions.

Empathy & Understanding

Alex acknowledges Sarah's perspective for not discussing his plans with her earlier. He explains his desire to spend time with friends and suggests finding a compromise that satisfies both of their needs.

Negotiation & Compromise

Sarah and Alex discuss their options and come up with a solution that works for both of them. They decide to compromise by spending Saturday morning hiking together and dedicating the afternoon to relaxing at home.

Setting Clear Expectations

Moving forward, Sarah and Alex agree to communicate their weekend plans in advance and discuss any conflicting commitments or preferences to avoid similar misunderstandings in the future.

By addressing the conflict with empathy, active listening, and a willingness to compromise, Sarah and Alex strengthen their relationship and deepen their understanding of each other's needs and desires.

Actionable Relationship Tip: During conflicts, keep in mind the importance of open communication, active listening empathy, compromise, and setting clear expectations to promote understanding and strengthen your relationship.